I'M LETTING GO

During my current adventure, completing a (dreaded) first year at Masters Commission Sacramento, I was given the assignment of writing out my testimony. It was then that I discovered my relatively short life in hindsight looks a lot like great bursts of energy devoted to void causes that end in disappointment right before I find the newest thing. It was like going to Office Max, buying out their store, and then realizing you hate scrap booking ten times in a row. Don't laugh. That's happened to me. I asked the teacher for a sharing time ten years from now so I could have time to do something meaningful with my life before I had to talk about it. 


And the worst part of it was looking back with a objective eye at all the times "God" had "called" me to do something completely selfish. Hmmm.... 
In "The Root of the Righteous" Tozer says he has a feeling of uneasiness when he observes the questionable things Christ is said to do for people these days. We worship a christ of carnal convenience instead of the Lord of Glory. 


I had only to look to my limited prayer times to realize the truth of these statements. This morning I was pineapple-slapped with the realization I come to the Lord with a list that begins in me, finds it fulfillment in me, and ends in me. I can just see him leaning over on his throne of grace going "Come oooonnnn Hannah, you've gotta give me something to work with here!" 

Job 12:10 says "In His hand is the life of every creature and the breath of all mankind."

I looked down at my palm and pictured a lego man sitting in the middle of it telling me what color his house would be, which lego chick he would end up with and how many lego toys he would own. How would you know you little turd? And what makes you think those things are the reason I'm holding you? 


Maybe the time for quests is over and the time for questions has begun. 
God, what is your purpose for my life?

"It's not about you."

-Rick Warren, The Purpose Driven Life

Chapter One 

You know, every now and then it's necessary to drop everything and dance around like a crazy person. Personally, I've simply stopped fighting the urge. 

Thank you, Big Time Rush. We owe you so much. 
If you don't own their new album yet.... Buy it. 

In every Christian's heart there is a cross and a throne, and the Christian is on the throne till he puts himself on the cross; if he refuses the cross he remains on the throne. Perhaps this is at the bottom of the backsliding and worldliness among gospel believers today. We want to be saved but we insist that Christ do all the dying....

-A.W. Tozer