My brain kind of spaced for a bit when it came to finding a title for this post. Spoiler alert! This "blog" is about meaningful conversations. No song in particular came to mind so I did the logical thing and typed "songs about talking" into the google search engine. Turns out that most songs about talking are rap songs with a lot of cussing. Don't get me wrong...I ain't judgin' lil' wayne. But if I correctly understood the lyrics to his song (which is a big "if" because I'm not one hundred percent sure he was speaking English) that type of talking wasn't really what I meant to refer to...
By the way, you should never judge a person for what they search for on google. Sometimes google can totally corrupt your innocent search by misinterpreting what you meant to search for...
Side note: Never type "virgin mary" into google images.
Talking with people can be really hard to do. Allow me to clarify something right away. Saying words is easy. I'm not referring to the fifty word chat that you have with the gal ringing up your purchases in a clothing store or the guy at the drive through window.Im referring to conversing with someone with intent; trying to find the right words to open the doors for a better relationship or perhaps to begin a relationship in the first place. I truly believe the ability to have meaningful conversation is a skill. One that I unfortunately lack.
I work as a nanny. Every week, Monday throught Friday, I pick up my kids from school.
Side note: I have gotten in the habit of calling them “my” kids. This confuses people. Ususally it results in sympothetic and/or questioning glances and the occasional “Wow, you look great for having popped out three kids!” I suppose it could be worse…they could say “Wow, you look terrible for having popped out three kids.” That would suck to hear. Looking like the mother of a ten year old is bad enough without looking like a frumpy mother of a ten year old. Let me be clear. I hope I don’t look like the mother of a ten year old at all…but given the choice I’d pick hot mom.
Anyways, back to the story. There is another nanny who picks up “her” kids every day at the same time. Her youngest little one is in the same class as my youngest little one and her oldest gets out at the same time as my oldest. (I forgot to mention. Every day the kiddies and I have to wait half an hour for their brother to get out of class. Just enough time to get bored and too little time to go home…perfect.) So every day we sit about two feet from each other and wait while “our” kids play on the playground.
A few weeks ago I had one of those moments where God whispers to you and tells you exactly what He wants you to do. I hate those. You always freeze for a moment and will yourself with all your might to go back eight seconds and be too busy to hear it…never works. You just know it was the Holy Spirit speaking to you. What did He say this time? You guessed it!
Go talk to her.
What? Why? We have been sitting literally two feet from each other every day for weeks and we have never said a word to each other. Why now?
Oh great…now you don’t speak to me?!
So I went up and talked to her and it was the best conversation you could imagine! She really opened up to me and we laughed and yes, even cried together. We braided each other's hair and told each other secrets and even found out that we were long lost sisters! What a sweet thing to meet at last!
No, not really.
I did exactly the wrong thing. I ignored the little voice. I didn't talk to her and we left just the same as any other day. The next day came and I did the same thing... went on my way and ignored her. Every day that went by the little voice became smaller and smaller until it became just a good idea that I once had and eventually it shrank to becoming the worse thing it could possibly become...a memory.
Side note: A girlfriend suggested to me making my blog a video blog because all the dot, dot, dots in the world can't replace perfect comedic timing. Something to consider...(dot, dot, dot again)
Side note: I'm making a lot of side notes today.
Last monday I finally decided to talk to her. It was a freezing winter day. Dry cold. That miserable kind of cold that makes your bones ache and your joints go stiff. Gosh, I'm old. (Not old enough to have had three kids though!) The conversation started like this...
Me: It's cold today.
Oh perfect. Riveting conversation starter there hanners.
Dot, Dot, Dot
I am pleased to say that it ended better then it began. We actually had a nice conversation... but (really not joking this time) I haven't seen her since! She hasn't been there to pick up the kids this whole week.
Was my feeble attempt too little, too late? I sure hope not and I sure hope I know before heaven. I can't help but wonder how it would have been different if I had listened on the day the Holy Spirit told me to have a conversation with her.
You're probably thinking at this point:
What's the point of her sharing this story? She is probably going to say this was the beginning of many lessons to be learned on her quest to become more like God. The quest she referred to in previous postings. I bet she thinks its unfortunate she was such a sucky failure in the first story she felt she should share. She is probably going to say that she hopes to make a better ending to this story in the days to come. She most likely is hoping God will work, even though she sucks at obeying. She makes a lot of side notes. She says "sucks" a lot.
Well, if you're already thinking it... then I won't repeat it.
Side note: I couldn't have put it better myself.