BIG GIRLS DON'T CRY

It doesn't take much to make me cry. 


I wish I could sing your song honestly Fergie, but the truth is I can put on a waterworks show that puts Seaworld to shame. I wasn't always like this. In fact, before I came to Christ, I cannot recall a single time I cried for a reason other then I was angry or hurt. But now I cry all the time. Sometimes it's for an understandable reason. Sometimes not. The good news is I can stop crying just as quickly as I start. I think this is from lots of practice.

But not all women can succumb to the vulnerability of tears easily. We live in a fallen world.
Women hide.
I was listening to the radio this week when the speaker mentioned the number one thing that turns people off when it comes to church is hypocrisy. People pretend to be people they are not. The speaker issued a challenge for people to share some things they struggled with that they didn't feel comfortable telling anyone at church. You would be amazed at some of the things these people were going through they didn't feel they could say in front of their Christian peers.

This stopped me in my tracks. Not only because this caused me great heartache (Where can people go if not to the house of the Lord?) but it also caused me to ask myself: How well do I know the women at my church? I see them every week. Are there struggles hidden behind smiling faces? Secrets hidden behind their Sunday best?

Not only was this becoming my concern, it was also becoming my struggle. I went to bible study two days ago with a heavy heart. The world and it's heartaches were sucking my soul dry. I didn't want anyone to know. I didn't feel it was the place. So now I was everything I feared was happening. I felt reluctant to enter a room full of women... women I had begun to question if I knew at all. On the way, I did a good thing. I started to pray. I asked the Lord to send His Spirit, both for me and for the women who came.

The Lord answered my prayer in a big way. Our study asked us to share a fear we had hidden. One by one, the words came out...

I'm afraid of being vulnerable.

I'm afraid my dear sister will lose a fight with cancer.

I'm afraid of being alone.

I'm afraid that God wouldn't come through for me. 

I'm afraid something will happen to those I love more then anything.

And there were tears. Oh my, were there ever tears... both for ourselves and for each other. And I had, for a moment in time, a glimpse of something real.

How I wish those who shared with the radio station could have been there.