I love Christmas.
However, being the "blogger" that I am with the brain that I have I simply can't let the Christmas season just go by without tossing out a few thoughts.
Why is Frosty the Snowman a smoker? I would think if you were made of snow and ice you wouldn't deal with things that smoke. I also think its a terrible influence on all the children he seems to enjoy hanging out with. Wait...why does he only hang out with children? Thats suspicious.
Why is Mary always dressed in blue? Blue is for boys. If I was designing the manger scene and I had to pick a color with which to dress Mary (Let be real. She was most likely wearing brown.) I would dress her in pink!
Or perhaps a sunny yellow...
Minty green if all else fails.
Why is baby Jesus always smiling? If I was a baby and you put my baby butt on a bed of straw swaddled with nothing but some strips of cloth you bet your tacky poinsettia I would be bawling.
Why do we hang a stocking? If the goal is to get a bunch of presents, you would think you would hang your largest article of clothing. For me, it would be my one piece pajamas with the feet. The whole thing. Thats right. Fill 'er up.
What happens when you roast a chestnut?
What is a chestnut?
And I could be wrong about this but...I don't think its that cold outside. I think that guy with the deep voice just wants that girl to stay overnight.
Hmmm...
Merry Christmas
=]
Wednesday, December 8, 2010
Thursday, December 2, 2010
MAMAS DONT LET YOUR BABIES GROW UP TO BE COWBOYS
The female heart and the hard boiled egg.
Once upon the beginning of time, the Creator designed the egg. Flawless. Beautiful. Purposed to give life.
God saw all that he had made, and it was very good.
Then the egg fell. The egg fell into a pot of
scalding
searing
boiling
water.
When the woman saw that the fruit of the tree was good for food and pleasing to the eye, and also desirable for gaining wisdom, she took some and ate it. She also gave some to her husband, who was with her, and he ate it.
But all was not lost. Even though the egg could no longer reach the perfection of its original purpose, it still had so much value. It still contained life-giving nutrients and a richness that could nourish and sustain.
...she would become the mother of all the living
But there was a catch.
The goodness of the egg was surrounded by a shell.
The Creator purposely designed that shell. Strong enough to hold the beauty of life yet weak enough to be completely removed... the Creator intended one to come to free the egg for its true purpose.
That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife...
It would be a delicate process. Sometimes the shell would stick. Sometimes it would slide off without the deserved effort and sometimes it would only come off bit by bit. The egg itself could crack if one was not careful and if dropped the egg would be of no further use.
Then the one intended to be the intended came along...
A long glance,
a moment,
and the pursuit began - a small crack appeared.
A confession from the heart,
a sweet kiss,
and quality time spent - a piece fell to the ground.
A promise made,
intent declared,
and trust was given - the crack in the shell branched and multiplied into ten.
And then intended and the intention were gone. And the egg was left with the broken pieces.
Do not gloat over me, my enemy!
Though I have fallen, I will rise.
Though I sit in darkness,
the LORD will be my light.
Someday, as I am running with all my heart, soul, mind, and strength towards the Lord, I will look to my right or to my left and see someone running next to me.
Glorify the LORD with me;
let us exalt his name together.
Take my hand. Lets run this race together.
Once upon the beginning of time, the Creator designed the egg. Flawless. Beautiful. Purposed to give life.
God saw all that he had made, and it was very good.
Then the egg fell. The egg fell into a pot of
scalding
searing
boiling
water.
When the woman saw that the fruit of the tree was good for food and pleasing to the eye, and also desirable for gaining wisdom, she took some and ate it. She also gave some to her husband, who was with her, and he ate it.
But all was not lost. Even though the egg could no longer reach the perfection of its original purpose, it still had so much value. It still contained life-giving nutrients and a richness that could nourish and sustain.
...she would become the mother of all the living
But there was a catch.
The goodness of the egg was surrounded by a shell.
The Creator purposely designed that shell. Strong enough to hold the beauty of life yet weak enough to be completely removed... the Creator intended one to come to free the egg for its true purpose.
That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife...
It would be a delicate process. Sometimes the shell would stick. Sometimes it would slide off without the deserved effort and sometimes it would only come off bit by bit. The egg itself could crack if one was not careful and if dropped the egg would be of no further use.
Then the one intended to be the intended came along...
A long glance,
a moment,
and the pursuit began - a small crack appeared.
A confession from the heart,
a sweet kiss,
and quality time spent - a piece fell to the ground.
A promise made,
intent declared,
and trust was given - the crack in the shell branched and multiplied into ten.
And then intended and the intention were gone. And the egg was left with the broken pieces.
Do not gloat over me, my enemy!
Though I have fallen, I will rise.
Though I sit in darkness,
the LORD will be my light.
Someday, as I am running with all my heart, soul, mind, and strength towards the Lord, I will look to my right or to my left and see someone running next to me.
Glorify the LORD with me;
let us exalt his name together.
Take my hand. Lets run this race together.
CRAZY
Dear Patsy Cline.Your classic song is fab and one hundred percent worthy of blog analysis. However, I am not going to devote this blog to the craziness of trying to find love. Should I ever decide to tackle that sticky subject, you will receive your well deserved shout out. In the meantime, I needed to borrow your song title for the following...
(Crazy) things that do not make sense to me:
(Crazy) things that do not make sense to me:
- songs about being special played to universal audiences
- if accept and except mean such different things, why do they have to sound so similar?
- urine is one of the cleanest substances around...shouldn't we wash our hands to go to the bathroom?
- the appeal of the Robert Pattinson
- religious tolerance - if I don't tolerate you and you tell me I should be tolerant then your not tolerating my intolerance and we are right back where we started
- the D grade - so...your so much of a failure you couldn't even fail all the way?
- the lyrics to "kiss from a rose"
- uggs- boots that you can't wear in the rain
- jumbo shrimp....?
- jeans without the butt pockets
- Obama's abs
- purchasing a coupon book
- government money used to search for extraterrestrial life...do we not have enough problems with the life on our own planet?
- children's bible stories- a brutal drowing of all mankind...but look at the cute little animal couples
- the difference between your and you're (yes, I am aware this is just me)
- snack time at kid's soccer games - isn't exercise the point?
- lady gaga- whats that madonna? your upset because everyone thinks lady gaga did it first? Yes, I would be too
- why we named serious diseases giggle-worthy names
- light mayonnaise
- going to dinner on the first date - nobody looks good while they are eating
Am I alone in these thoughts?
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