The other day a friend of mine approached me, simply ecstatic about a recent purchase from the drug store. She found it! The cure for cellulite.
Cellulite is the cruelest trick nature ever played on women. If you have it (and most women do) it will cause self-consciousness to burn through your mind like a forest fire during dry season every time you look at yourself in a mirror. And if you don't have it, you replace the time you would have spent obsessing about having it with constant worrying about developing it in the future. And they say Padme Amidala died after giving birth to Luke and Leia because she lost the will to live. Please. If that was true, they would be rolling the bodies out of the dressing room every time bathing suit season came around.
But I digress.
The cure was a brush. It was a stiff brush with a wooden handle about two feet long. In theory, if twice a day you brush your skin with smooth strokes (away from your heart) your cellulite will disappear. Apparently it was a technique developed in France. This makes sense because obviously the French do not have cellulite. I think that goes without saying.
I really hated to be Debbie Downer but something about the product was bothering me. And being me, I simply couldn't resist voicing my opinion. The handle. If you need a brush with a handle over two feet long to execute this "magical" cure... then perhaps you have bigger problems then cellulite.
Cellulite is the cruelest trick nature ever played on women. If you have it (and most women do) it will cause self-consciousness to burn through your mind like a forest fire during dry season every time you look at yourself in a mirror. And if you don't have it, you replace the time you would have spent obsessing about having it with constant worrying about developing it in the future. And they say Padme Amidala died after giving birth to Luke and Leia because she lost the will to live. Please. If that was true, they would be rolling the bodies out of the dressing room every time bathing suit season came around.
But I digress.
The cure was a brush. It was a stiff brush with a wooden handle about two feet long. In theory, if twice a day you brush your skin with smooth strokes (away from your heart) your cellulite will disappear. Apparently it was a technique developed in France. This makes sense because obviously the French do not have cellulite. I think that goes without saying.
I really hated to be Debbie Downer but something about the product was bothering me. And being me, I simply couldn't resist voicing my opinion. The handle. If you need a brush with a handle over two feet long to execute this "magical" cure... then perhaps you have bigger problems then cellulite.
so true!
ReplyDeleteThe French also don't shave their legs, so what does that say? : )
ReplyDelete